Perfect
by blurred
Summary: Tristan and Rory spend one night together, they each react differently. How will they cope with whats happened and what does it really mean?
1. Tristan

Perfect

Rory Gilmore.

She's just a girl.  

I can get any girl that I want.  

Except for her.  It doesn't matter though; I hate her just like she hates me.  I know I'm a jerk to her but I don't care anymore.  That's how it is and always will be.  No matter what anyone does.  

She just has to be my partner on a school project.  For some reason she's coming to my house.  We have to work on this stupid project.  I don't really care either its only school.  I give her a lift to my house.  After a long and silent car ride we're at my house.  We go in the front door, through the huge foyer and we go up to my room to work.  She looks around at my house, in my room.  At the bookcase, I think she's amazed I have books or even know what they are.  She looks at my bed, my king sized bed, she looks over everything.  

I just want this to be over.  The sooner the better.  Then she can leave not just my house but also my life.  I can forget about her.  For some reason we start to argue.  I don't even know what about.  Something to do with the project.  We used to banter but this was not that.  This was yelling and screaming.  I think everything must have just built up inside her.  I was yelling back at her telling her to shut up.  I just wished she would shut up, it was killing me inside.  I kissed her, I moved towards and slammed my lips on hers.  I don't know why.  I think I really did but I hate her.  Maybe it was just to shut her up but I know it was more than that.  I wanted to kiss her.  No matter what I try to tell myself.

Things are getting out of hand.  I don't care. I don't care anymore.  My hands are roaming her body, her tops off.  She's kissing me with so much passion I cant stop.  Why can't she stop?  But she doesn't and it goes to far.  

It's the morning.  She's in my arms.  I can't believe this happened.  I've been waiting for her to wake up and realize what's happened.  She'll hate me even more.  But what about me.  Does this mean I really love her?   Maybe it does, but I can't I can't love her.  And she hates me and I hate her.  I do I have to hate her.  When she wakes up it will all change.  She yells at me, screams why didn't I stop.  And that I used her just like all the other girls.  And that she's just another notch on my belt and now I can brag to all my mates how I bedded the virgin.  I can imagine it now.  

But this is different.  

This feels perfect.  

But what is perfect?


	2. Rory

Perfect 

She was starting to stir.

The perfect girl in his arms.  

She was awake, now she looked over at me and realized who it was.  It was just as he had suspected.  In that moment it hit her.  What had happened that night.  She realized that she had slept with Tristan Dugrey.  The person she hated the more than anything.  She had just slept with her worst enemy.  She hated him so much.  

Why didn't she stop this?

Why didn't he stop this?  

She knew she had to get out of there are soon as possible.  She tried to find all her clothes.  She didn't want to talk to him it was easier just to ignore him.  Pretend he didn't exist.  That was a hard thing for her to do though.  He was trying to talk to her.  Telling her that they needed to talk about this.  She didn't care though.  She had all her belongings now.  So she left.  She waited on the front steps to call her mum.  So she would be able to get home.  

What would she say to her mother.  

What would she think.  

She knew it was just as much her fault as it was his.  Except she didn't matter to him.  He'd slept with heaps of girls.  This mattered so much to her.  It was her first time and she couldn't comprehend why it was with Tristan of all people.  She thought her first time would be special.  With someone she loved.  Why was it with him.  Maybe that was telling her something.  Something that she just didn't realize or didn't want to realize.  That maybe she did love Tristan.  But that couldn't be possible and even if it were it wouldn't matter.  

She would just have to pretend this didn't happen and move on.  Forget the boy who took her virginity.  

The one that she might even love.    


	3. Tristan

Perfect 

She's run off, hadn't yelled, she'd just left without saying a word.  I called her name but she just ignored me.  I can't believe what I have done. 

 I can't believe I slept with her.  

She was a virgin.  

What have I done, I took her virginity.  Why didn't I stop, Why didn't she stop me.  Why didn't I want to stop?  I know that one; it was sex, who's going to stop that, definitely not me.  I need to talk to her.  I need to see her and we need to work this out.  Why did it have to be with her, if it was with anyone else it would have been so much easier, it would have been ok if they had left without saying a word.  

But why is this different, Why can't I move on.  One-night stands are nothing new to me, sex is nothing new to me, but to her it was.  

I picked up the phone, I tried to call her, but I thought better of that.  Why can't I just forget about this and just move on.  I have no idea.  What am I suppose to do now.  I suppose he ignoring me is better than her yelling at me.  At least we aren't fighting.  That's what started this all.  I need to get out of here; I need to do something to get her off my mind.  I need to stop thinking about her.  Why won't she leave my mind, the moments last night, its imprinted in there forever.  I hate her, I hate her so much.  I hate her for making me like this.  

I had her and now I can go find someone else, another 'Mary'.  

Why is this so different?  Why has everything changed now?  Why did it feel so good?

Why did it feel perfect?     


	4. Rory

Perfect 

I'm sitting here in the car now, with my mum.  

She hasn't said a word to me.  Total silence, the radio isn't even on.  She said she tried to call me last night but my phone was off.  She was so worried about me when I didn't come home.  She doesn't know what to think, neither do I.  How am I going to tell her? I know she suspects something happened from the way I am acting now and the way I acted on the phone when I called her. 

 I just wanted to get out of there. 

 I had to leave.  I never forget to call my mum, never.  And I did last night, with him, he made me forget.  I try to explain, I start to tell her but I can't find the words.  She tells me to wait until we get home.  I try to think about how I can tell her, how I can rationalise the situation, but there's no excuse for what I did.  I didn't stop.  I didn't want to stop.  I can't tell her that.  I've never even thought about it before but in one night everything's changed.  What am I supposed to say, that I slept with him, the person I hate more than anything in the world and it felt good to wake up in his arms.  

What about Tristan, I just left him, he tried to ask me to stay.  What am I going to say to him when I see him again?  I can't face him.  He probably doesn't even care, took my virginity, that's what he wanted all along and now he got it.  He'll just move on, but how am I supposed to forget, to move on.  This was something new for me.  

We're pulling up into our driveway, I wish the drive was longer; I wish I could be anywhere but here.  I can't tell her.  There is still total silence.  I sit down on the couch; she asks if I want coffee, I don't want coffee, I have other things on my mind.  I just have to get this off my chest.  She looks at me strangely, me not wanting coffee, now she knows something's definitely wrong.  I have to tell her, I can't hold it in any longer.  

I blurt it out, 'I slept with him' 

 I start to cry, I don't know why, I don't know anything, I'm so confused and everything's changed.  I think I know why, because I liked it, I liked who it was with and that scares me.  Mum comes over and hugs me, she doesn't know what to say, neither do I. 

 We both sit there in silence, in our own worlds. 


	5. Tristan

Perfect 

I still haven't talked to her.    

I can't stop thinking about her.  This is hopeless.  At school we just ignore each other.  She still pretends like nothing happened.   That, that night didn't happen.  I suppose its just better that she's moves on and pretends that it didn't happen.  Maybe that's how she's coping with it, maybe it didn't mean anything to her.  It didn't mean anything to me either.  That's what I have to keep telling myself; maybe one day I'll believe it, that, that night didn't change my life.  I don't even know why it has, but everything is different now, but it's still the same.  I'm still me, but now I have all these feelings and thoughts that I cant get out of my mind.  

I want her to talk to me, tell me that it meant something to her, tell me that it didn't, I just want her to acknowledge that it happened.  

I don't even know what I want.  

I was content with my life, sleeping with different girls every week, they didn't matter to me, I didn't matter to them.  I didn't care what they felt; I didn't need to know what they felt.  That's how this world works, this place and she doesn't belong in it.  I brought her into it.  I just want her to say something to me, anything, the world news, who cares; I just want her to talk to me.  Well maybe about the other night that would be nice.  But that's not going to happen anytime soon.  

Why can't I talk to her?  

I know why, I'm scared of what she'll say; I'm scared what I will say.  She'll say it meant nothing.  Then I'll have to move on.  So the further I delay it, the more I can think that I might have a chance with her.  That I can dream about her, what it would be like to have her again, hold her again?  I'd even settle for just talking, but if I talk to her, then I know I will never have another chance and I know I will do something wrong and she will hate me even more.  

I want her, she's all I'm thinking about, ever since that night, everything's changed, and it's never going to be the same because of that night.  

But why do I care.

Because that night was perfect and nothing will ever compare to it.

Why'd it have to be so perfect?


	6. Rory

*I just like to say thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story, it means a lot to me, to know that you are reading it and enjoying it. Thank you!*

Perfect 

I told her, my mum.  She didn't know what to do.  She still hasn't really talked to me since that day.  I mean we small talk, but it's just everyday conversation, not the usual stuff that we used to talk about.  I think it's because she doesn't want to talk about it.  It would make it more real then.  

It's weird, I told her because I had to tell her.  We tell each other everything.  And every since I did, we don't tell each other anything.  She tried to talk to me about going on the pill, but it was really awkward.  That how our relationship is now, awkward, we just seem to be in each other's way, we don't really want each other around.  I do want her around though, I want to be able to talk to her like I used to but it's all changed now.  I told her I didn't need to go on it because it was never going to happen again.  I just left, went for a walk; I don't know how to act around her anymore.  We're so distant, its like she's not even my mother anymore.  I think she got mad a me for walking out, but she understands what I'm going through, she knows how much I hated him, and how much he annoyed me.  

I can't blame her for wanting me to go on the pill, I mean she was a teenage mum and she wants to do what's best for me.  She doesn't know how to cope with what's happened.  I can't blame her; I can't even cope with what has happened.  That her little girls all grown up, that I'm no longer her little girl anymore and I won't be again.  

I see him at school, it so uncomfortable.  He'll look at me then I'll turn away and pretend I'm not looking at him.   I do really want to talk to him; I just don't know what to say.  I need to figure something out, but I don't know what.  How can we fix this?  This has never happened to me before.  I should hate him, he took my virginity, something I can never get back, but I don't really hate him, I don't think I ever did.  

I don't know how to react; I don't know what I am supposed to do. 

I wish I could talk to my mum.  

I wish she could help me.  

I wish everything were back to normal, before this happened, before everything changed, before that night.  I don't know if anything will ever be the same again, or ever will be.  

I know mum doesn't want me to turn out like her, she has done everything she can for me, to protect me, and one night everything's different.   Maybe I should go on the pill, not because I'm going to sleep with him again.  That's definitely not happening, but maybe someday I will and I want to be prepared, and then things might start to go back to normal, well at home. 

But school is a different matter.  

I can't ignore him forever but I can try my hardest.  


	7. Tristan

*Thank you to everyone has reviewed once again. I hope you like this chapter, and sorry it has taken a while to update.*

Perfect 

I'd made up my mind.

It was time to talk to her.

I had to do it.

I had to stop thinking about it.

I had to move on.

Today was the day.

It was the beginning of the end.

I told her, I told her everything.  All that I felt, all that it meant to me.  How it was the best moment of my life, how I couldn't stop thinking about her.  All the words poured out, all my emotions, everything I was feeling, I couldn't stop.  I told her she was different, that this was different, it was perfect.  I told her that I hadn't stopped thinking about that moment.  It felt so right; her waking up my arms and that when she did wake up all she could do was yell at me.  

She stood there, expressionless, as I poured my heart out. 

She stood there, unmoving.  

She stood there, speechless.

She didn't understand what I felt.  What I still feel.  I felt like such an idiot, how could I be so stupid.  I don't know why I tried to talk to her.  I started to yell at her.  Why did it mean nothing to her and everything to me.  

Why did I talk to her? 

Why couldn't I forget?

Now she hates me even more.  

Why couldn't she say something?  Why couldn't she understand?

I knew she wouldn't.  I knew I should have just moved on, to the next girl.  

I got no response, no words, no movement.  All I wanted was to hear her voice, one word.  I have been thinking about this moment for days.  The words I would use, her reaction, but nothing is how you imagine it.  All I wanted was for her to say it meant something.

Instead she turned and ran.


	8. Rory

*I would firstly like to apologise to everyone for not updating in ages.  Thank you to everyone who has reviewed its been really great. I don't really know where I am going with this story and like one reviewer said it is getting repetitive.  I don't think I will add anymore to this story unless I can think of a good way to end it, which I can't at the moment.  I'll see how I go and I'll try and finish it sometime.  Sorry to everyone about this.*

Perfect 

All I wanted to do was run. 

But I was stuck there on the spot, my legs wouldn't move, my body was paralysed.  He was speaking to me but I didn't understand, the words had no meaning.  I stood there staring straight at him.  He started yelling at me.  Saying that he should never have tried to talk to me in the first place.  That he should have just moved on.  

I wanted to tell him that it meant something to me too, I wanted to say anything, tell him to stop yelling at me, tell him that I did want to talk.  

But no words would came out.

I Rory Gilmore, couldn't put a sentence together.  

Couldn't string two words together.  

I didn't know what to say.

I didn't know what to do, so I turned and ran.

Ran away from him.  Everything that involved him.  Everything that got me into this mess.  Its all because of him.  My life was revolving around him.  I couldn't sleep, I can't study, I can't concentrate.  I can't stop thinking about him, he is always on my mind.

I just want to never see him again, to move on.  I wished it had never happened.  I wish everything would change, go back to the way it was.  I just want to ignore him forever.  

But that's not what I really want. I want to talk to him.  I want to apologise for the way I acted, for the way I ran away from him.  I want to tell him everything I'm feeling like he told me.  I want to go home and sleep and forget about everything.  I want someone to talk to, but I say nothing to my mum anymore.  She doesn't trust me, everything's changed now.  She always has to know what I'm doing, where I'm going.  I go to school, I come home, do homework.  I just want to talk to her.  I need her help.  I don't know what to do.  

I just want everything to go back to normal. 

I'm so confused.  

Everything's messed up.


End file.
